Birth Control Without the Hormones?

One time, due to the extreme emotional mood swings I get when I’m PMSing and on birth control, I cried at work because my breakfast place gave me potatoes with my eggs when I specifically said no potatoes. That pretty much summarizes my experience with the pill.

Crying because of potatoes, feeling bloated and gaining weight, and suffering from really bad anxiety when I’m PMSing have still never stopped me from taking that little monster of a contraceptive everyday for almost the last 8 years. Why? Because no one likes condoms.

(I obviously use them if I’m not in a monogamous, trusting relationship but that has been rare.)

So when I saw an ad for an app that relies on the calendar method, which I thought was literally guaranteed to get you preggers, it felt like God finally heard the prayers of me and all of womankind. Based on a study of over 40,000 women, Natural Cycles proved their app is just as effective as the pill. They give you a thermometer to more accurately track whether or not you need to use protection on a certain day and the chances of getting a “green” day when it’s actually “red” is less than .05% (even better than the pill in fact).

I did a lot of research before signing up since the consequences of this thing failing are obviously massive, but the evidence really does show that the app works. So much in fact that it has been approved by the European Union as a reliable form of birth control.

All I can say is Hallelujah. Praise Jesus. Amen.

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