Zara coat, H&M jeans, Michele watch, Quay sunnies, Louis Vuitton bag
Despite being an (amateuer) contemporary art enthusiast and 4th year NYC resident (not the medical kind, I practically failed anything science related), I had never visited the annual Armory Show until last weekend. We did a little window shopping in Soho first before heading to the middle of nowhere, aka 12th avenue, for this Big Apple version of art basel. I had also only recently lost my By Chloe virginity – I know, what kind of wannabe fashion blogger am I if I don’t eat instagram curated vegan food? Yet I somehow managed to eat Chloe 3x in this one weekend.
The show was awesome as expected but also ginormous. I literally couldn’t fit into my loafers the next morning because my feet were so swollen from walking around for hours. It didn’t help that Dan took a snail’s approach to observing the art. At one point, we got separated and I had gotten to the back of the first showroom while he was still barely 1/4th of the way through. Thanks dude.
It was also super interesting to see how our iPhones have changed the way we view art. We see everything through our pixelated screens now rather than with our bare eyes. In fact, the last photo on the left was a pool of water that was programmed with facial recognition and mirrored the audience’s face, but the artist had to tell everyone to put our phones away because they were covering our faces. Now that’s pretty dope and corrupted.
My roommate asked me about my taste in famous dudes the other day and I explained that I’m attracted to actors based on the roles they’ve played and the talent they exude. I’ve never been into “pretty boys” like Channing Tatum and Chase Crawford but I love rugged, unconventionally hot guys who play very serious roles. My boyfriend jokes that it only took him 7 years of friendship and 2 tattoos for him to win me over.
My favorites include:
Tom Hardy, especially because he’s regularly casted by Christopher Nolan who’s one of my favorite directors
Alex Skarsgard, even when he played a psycho husband in Big Little Lies
Christoph Waltz, mostly because he plays Tarentino’s quirky roles so well
Viggo Mortensen but only as a Russian gangster in Eastern Promises
One time, due to the extreme emotional mood swings I get when I’m PMSing and on birth control, I cried at work because my breakfast place gave me potatoes with my eggs when I specifically said no potatoes. That pretty much summarizes my experience with the pill.
Crying because of potatoes, feeling bloated and gaining weight, and suffering from really bad anxiety when I’m PMSing have still never stopped me from taking that little monster of a contraceptive everyday for almost the last 8 years. Why? Because no one likes condoms.
(I obviously use them if I’m not in a monogamous, trusting relationship but that has been rare.)
So when I saw an ad for an app that relies on the calendar method, which I thought was literally guaranteed to get you preggers, it felt like God finally heard the prayers of me and all of womankind. Based on a study of over 40,000 women, Natural Cycles proved their app is just as effective as the pill. They give you a thermometer to more accurately track whether or not you need to use protection on a certain day and the chances of getting a “green” day when it’s actually “red” is less than .05% (even better than the pill in fact).
I did a lot of research before signing up since the consequences of this thing failing are obviously massive, but the evidence really does show that the app works. So much in fact that it has been approved by the European Union as a reliable form of birth control.
All I can say is Hallelujah. Praise Jesus. Amen.